Your Worst Boss

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Gayle
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Your Worst Boss

Postby Gayle » Tue Oct 25, 2005 6:25 pm

OK - here's your chance: Lash out! What did you call him/her? What's the worst thing he/she did to you? Is there a Most Stupid Moment you can credit to him/her? Let's hear it!

Real Name: Trish

Called her: Urethra Von Slackbladder

Worst thing: I was called into a private meeting and REPRIMANDED for not saying Good Morning ENTHUSIASCIALLY ENOUGH! ugh

Most Stupid Moment: Oh, where to begin. I will list the top 5.

1. She told a Groucho Marx impersonator that next time he should get a "real moustache" (Groucho always painted his on).

2. She worked all afternoon on a moustache; trimming it, dying it, etc. Then asked her partner if it looked like Lincoln's moustache. Lincoln never had a moushtache. Her partner replied, "What country are you from?"

3. A client had called asking for some Three Stooges lookalikes (which we didn't have). She sent a proposal back to the client with this information: "There is a show in town called Five Guys Named Moe, which is a Three Stooges review. They will have the look, the costumes, and also the schtick."
a. Five Guys Named Moe is a review of Louis Jordan jazz music, NOT a Three Stooges review.
b. There are five guys named Moe in the show, not three guys named Larry, Moe, and Curly.
c. The three stooges were all white and the cast of Five Guys Named Moe are all African American. The client was not amused.

4. At a "Las Vegas Love" murder mystery event, Trish was playing the roll of the mother to the bride. For some odd reason, she used a deep Jersey accent for this character (she is possibly the WORST actress in the WORLD). She approached a guest (in character) and asked him to dance with her. His reply: "I'm not dancing with you. You're a guy." She was crestfallen - but stupid enough not to drop her character voice. "No I'm not", said she in her deepest bass tone, "I'm the mother of the bride!" He said, "Yeah, your character is, but YOU are a GUY." She turned to the pianist (my spouse) for help. All he could muster was, "I don't know what to tell you." And hid behind the piano to laugh.

5. Trish makes balloon animals. She makes bad balloon animals. At an event at the Field Museum in Chicago, she approached a group of people, interupted their conversation and forced balloon animals, hats, and flowers on them. They were uncomfortable enough as it was, but when Trish put the balloon into her mouth and sucked the air into the end of it (to create a little ball), the group, eyes wide and jaws dropped, had to walk away, leaving Trish performing lude acts on the tail of a balloon poodle all alone.

So... let's hear yours!
4 out of 3 people have difficulty with fractions.

Sherry
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Re: Your Worst Boss

Postby Sherry » Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:36 pm

Gayle wrote:OK - here's your chance: Lash out! What did you call him/her? What's the worst thing he/she did to you? Is there a Most Stupid Moment you can credit to him/her? Let's hear it!

So... let's hear yours!


Are you sure you want to hear this? :shock:

OK, I'll keep it as short and sweet as I can. No worst moment from him. Because he is one. Just this story about what I did :P

His name was Howard. He was about 6'2 tall. And about 5'5 wide. I kid you not. Obese is the only way to call it. I don't make fun of people who are overweight. But really I was shocked to see he had to turn sideways to fit through doorways. Could not walk up the stairs and so on. An unkempt man who did not even own a pair of slip on shoes so always wore ones with shoelaces taken out. Due to his size I am sure you can understand why.

Anyways, his personaility is not related to his girth. He was just an awful boss. I was in HIV and AIDS care back in the early 90's. I cared about my work. All I can say is he saw £££ or $$$ were there to be made. He was despised.

I can't give you examples. I can only say the sight of a man, his size, seen riding around town on a moped while wearing a full length flowing white kaftan and a red helmet :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: did it for me. That and his slimy comments and looks at myself and other staff. And a long long list of events.

So of course one day I nearly ran him over :shock:

Let me set the scene :roll:

I cannot explain it, but the man had cut corners one time too many at work one day. I had been seething and had had strong words with him about matters. My shift ended and I went home. Later that day I happend to be driving along a road in my town. Downhill. In my little trusty little car named Trevor. Le Car. Like this one below. Small and tin can like. But I loved it.

Image

Anyway, who should I see step out at the bottom of the hill from between some cars but Howard. In all his wobbling glory, he did not even bother looking for traffic, but stepped out into the road and slowly (for he never seemed able to move faster than slow) he started to cross the road. Into the path of myself and trusty Trevor :shock: :shock: :shock:

In that split second for some reason, I chose to put my foot hard on the gas. To the floor. Which, lets face it in that car, with that engine was not much :P Still, trusty Trev roared (read spluttered) and lept forward down the hill. Full charge. And there was Howard. Still wobbling onwards. I then hit the horn (about the one thing that made a decent noise on trusty Trev) and scared the living crap out of him as he saw me, possessed in my lil Le Car steaming toward him. The look on his face was *priceless* I mean priceless. I kept my hand on the horn and continued, and he then actually leapt forward and RAN onward over the middle line and to the other side of the road. Out of Trev's way. And mine. But he was in no doubt as to who had been in the car and hooting the horn. And I, I was simply warning a stupid pedestrian I was on the road by hitting my horn. Had he bothered to look to his right *before* stepping out he would of seen the car and stayed put.

He never mentioned that day. Ever. :lol: But I think he got the hint :roll:

Needless to say I was sacked about a month later for something completly unrelated :shock: :shock: :shock:

:cross: Not that I cared about being sacked, but I was deeply saddened as he was taking away someone who really cared about her job and the people entrusted into her care.
I did however manage to break one pane of glass in his front door, and ensured everyone heard exactly what I had to say regarding his sacking me. I think my parting words, after he told me to not set foot on the premises again were something along the lines of "Don't worry, I won't be back while you are the owner, but I'll be sure to come back here drinking champagne when you go bust you pathetic little crap of a man" Turned, walked out, slammed door so hard the glass in it broke. I was applauded on my way out by staff.

He went bankrupt a few months later and we threw a party to celebrate.

Ummm so yeah, I guess 'Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry' applies :lol:
Last edited by Sherry on Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Gayle
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Postby Gayle » Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:42 pm

:que:


Wow. I... just... wow.

I am impressed by your restraint. I would have hit him. :yawinkle:
4 out of 3 people have difficulty with fractions.

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indigo_jones
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Postby indigo_jones » Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:59 pm

I would be here all day if I posted about either the psychotic editor or the consultant and VPs from hell. And I'd get irate, and I probably wouldn't sleep tonight, because I'd be going over it all in my head yet again, and I really need my sleep tonight.

Let's just say that I'm usually a pretty peace-loving person and would be hard-pressed to ever cause physical harm to someone, but let's just say that if I could actually get away with it, I'd happily kill the consultant. Slimy, arrogant, pathetic, bow-legged, big-nosed *&^%!Q&^&!

*deep breath*
"It was a hilarious, hilarious moment in a very bleak, bleak time of my life."

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/me
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Postby /me » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:16 am

Gayle, I don’t know what it is you do, but it sounds really interesting, though that boss takes the cake for sheer daftness, and I cannot even compete with Sherry. Thank Conchords!

As for me, I am a medical transcriptionist, technically my own boss, but just recently I worked for a doctor that was a real character. I not so fondly remember him as Dr. Professional (bold and in quotes). Most of his medical reports were pages and pages long and mostly about himself and his personal problems rather than the patient’s. They were peppered with profanity, insults, and his own brand of “take it from me” advice on how to be professional and successful in the field.

For example, I typed a whole series of reports and letters documenting a visit in which a patient tried to throttle him because he made fun of his fear of needles. The quote “boo-hoo” was used extensively in these reports, a final count of 2 whores (with extra emphasis that he did, in fact, say whores), one *sshole, one *ss, a healthy smattering of “professionalism” (bold and in quotes, in case anybody doubted it), and ending with the sentence, “In conclusion, I feel I have done nothing wrong”. Believe me, if this guy got near me with a needle I would be running and screaming too. In fact, after a week, I was running and screaming anyway...far, far away (bold and in quotes).
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Gayle
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Postby Gayle » Wed Oct 26, 2005 1:42 am

Gayle, I don’t know what it is you do, but it sounds really interesting, though that boss takes the cake for sheer daftness, and I cannot even compete with Sherry. Thank Conchords!


Wow. Dr. PROFESSIONAL sounds like a real weiner... uh, winner.

Trish was my boss at an entertainment company in Chicago. I was the office manager, event manager, event coordinator, go-fer, administrative assistant, lunch getter, prop master, costume lady, blah, blah, blah. I was the only employee. I had two bosses. We all sat in the same room, our desks facing each other, no walls. One Christmas they asked me what I wanted. I said, "Walls." After I was reprimanded for not saying Good Morning enthusiastically enough, I vowed to bring in one brick a day until I had built a wall. I chickened out - I was afraid I'd come to work one day to find my desk outside. :shock:
4 out of 3 people have difficulty with fractions.

LostAtSea
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Hmmm...the paranoid schizophrenic or the absolute nutjob...

Postby LostAtSea » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:11 am

I worked for a boss for about three years who was clinically schizophrenic. Not so bad when he took his meds but utterly off his rocker when he didn't. I loved the work, and fortunately about half my time was spent doing field work out of the office. For the last year and a half, we worked out of this boss's two-bedroom apartment. Our work area was one bedroom; the seretary/receptionist's desk and the client meeting area was the living room. Wouldn't have been so bad except the boss was an absolute disgusting SLOB. Weeks of dishes piled in the kitchen, moldy coffee in the coffee pot, piles of belongings scattered everywhere, and I won't even describe the bathroom. That's just the begining. Whenever he actually interacted with clients or did (read: pretended to do) any actual work, he invariably screwed things up and we had major damage control to do with the clients. We learned to give him busywork and quietly redo any work he did. We also learned to take over any on-site meetings he scheduled with clients, as he refused to leave the office until maybe an hour or more past the meeting time. His favorite trick was to announce on Thursday afternoon: "Oh, by the way, I'm leaving on a fun trip tomorrow morning and I don't have enough money for payroll. If you want to get paid, here's a list of clients that owe us money. Give them a call and see if you can get any of them to pay up." I could go on, but the memories are making me shudder.

Bad Boss #2

I worked for an absolute nutjob of a lady for a few months part time in college. She was a macaw breeder, with the breeding operation set up in her house (more like a mansion, really) and in outbuildings on her (very upscale) property. Feeding the adults, handfeeding the babies, and cleaning cages meant I had to walk around her grounds and her house. She had a dog crazier than she was -- an unneutered Tibetan mastiff. Giant black dog, who was an accident waiting to happen. I love dogs and have trained them professionally and shown in competitive obedience. I have never worked around a more potentially dangerous dog with a more clueless owner. He was allowed to "escort" visitors -- including me -- from their car to the front door with his mouth clamped on their arm. The implicit threat was that if you resisted, he'd rip your throat out. Unfortunately, the crazy lady reinforced his extremely dominant behavior by praising him excessively, saying he just felt insecure.

Anyway, dodging that dog was minor compared to dealing with his crazy owner. She doted on her macaws. When a 6-month old youngster nearly took my thumb off, her only comment was "Oh, don't hold it against him, he didn't mean it." I had to cook the adults hot food -- which included filled pasta (ravioli in particular), sweet potatoes, or eggs. The last straw came one morning, three days before Christmas, when I was scrambling eggs as per orders for the day, after I'd been working there about three months (and had cooked eggs many times). I was scrambling them exactly the way I do at home. Crazy lady walked in, saw me stirring the eggs in the big frying pan, and flipped out. She started screaming at me. "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU F-ING COOK SCRAMBLED EGGS!!! YOU DON'T STIR THEM LIKE THAT! THEY'LL NEVER EAT EGGS THAT HAVE BEEN STIRRED THAT MUCH! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING???!!!??" Granted, the week before, I'd cooked eggs the exact same way and I had watched the birds eat the eggs enthusiastically. I wanted to walk out on the spot and tell her to cook her own f-ing eggs, but I also wanted to get paid that day. I gritted my teeth and held out and got paid. I called her up the next day and told her to go stuff herself, and that was such a nice feeling.

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indigo_jones
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Postby indigo_jones » Wed Oct 26, 2005 5:29 am

LostAtSea, after reading your stories, I'm horrified! Having working in the pet industry myself (although not dealing with the animals) I still have a good sense of what is appropriate behavior in animals (and owners/breeders) to know what a nightmare that must have been. And a Tibetan mastiff the untrained?! Yikes!

One of my stories that I can share without losing my mind is the publisher I worked for who decided right before our Thanksgiving break that we could only take a half hour for lunch, because he wanted the full 40 hours from us, even though we'd all been taking 1-hour lunches for years (and getting our work done on time in the process). The way he told us? In a memo -- left in our mail boxes the day he'd already left for his vacation. Cheap bastard.

That was the same job where I worked for the psychotic editor (who should have been on meds). I was in charge of sending out tear sheets (among a million other duties, including ghost-writing stuff for the editor) and I was very good about sending them out to everyone. One of the writers called in once and mentioned that he hadn't received his tear sheets. She proceeded to b*tch about me to the writer, without checking with me. I specifically remembered sending his tear sheets. They just got lost in the mail. Way to support your managing editor!

Oh, and Sherry, I forgot to mention earlier that I have utter respect for the job you used to do. I had a roommate who was a social worker at a hospice for people with AIDS and I know the kind of toll it took on her emotionally.
"It was a hilarious, hilarious moment in a very bleak, bleak time of my life."

Happiness is Bret-Shaped.

"The forecast for Jemaine today is clean-shaven with a chance of stubble. Scattered stubble throughout the week, resulting in a 60% chance of beard early next week." - mohumbhai mania


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