I need some womanly advice...

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tvldiva
Feeling much better now...
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Re: I need some womanly advice...

Postby tvldiva » Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:26 pm

kellysouthpaw wrote:Well I got a myspace message from her this morning saying that when he got up to get ready for work he apologized and said that he was drunk and shouldn't have said it.

I think that's just such...crap, honestly. I guess it's raw because I was with a guy for awhile who would do the same thing. Get drunk and then say all sorts of crap and then claim the next day he can't be held accountable because he was drunk. Personally I often wonder if people speak the truth especially when they're drunk because the part of their brain that censors their speech before it's spoken is inhibited with alcohol use but...what do I know :lol:

But I'm biting my tongue and letting her know I'm still here for her. Though from the sound of the message it sounds like she's going to forgive him on very short order.

I would have to agree with vmh. My brother is an alcoholic and he stayed with me a few years back. In his own words, sober words, is that if he is drinking- he's lying, but just to get what he wants. When it came down to his feelings, he was brutally honest when he was drunk. As her friend, you need to have a very honest talk with her. Tell her that you support any decision that she makes but that they need to see a professional to work out things out. This was a huge trauma, losing the baby, and they need to face it head on, it will come back to bite them.
Why don't you accept me as your God!?

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Ratashak
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Re: I need some womanly advice...

Postby Ratashak » Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:41 pm

Wow, what a drama unfolding. Oh, the lies and dependence and deceit. Wouldn't be surprised if he had someone on the side. I feel for your friend, Kelly. I've been jerked around like that before. Its so hard to get out of it, too. You want to believe he really loves you and for some reason you continue, despite the obvious signals that tell you to stop. She'll definitely need a good friend like you!

kellysouthpaw

Re: I need some womanly advice...

Postby kellysouthpaw » Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:49 pm

Aw thanks hun! Are you going to be at the Detroit show? I see you're in K-zoo :) My favorite comedian was just there last month. I gave up the chance to see him to see FOTC instead ;)

ANYWAYS: I haven't had a chance to catch her (it's pretty late in Spain at this point and she didn't sleep last night so she's probably still sleeping) to talk to her yet today. But I plan on being there for her to listen, but I'm really going to try to stress to her how, even though it'll be easier to forgive him, she'll never forget what he says and it's just going to snowball into big issues.

I hope :pray: that she'll heed my advice, but I know that I've been given some GREAT dating/marriage advice in the past and disregarded it. It's almost something you have to learn and come to on your own...

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Ratashak
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Re: I need some womanly advice...

Postby Ratashak » Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:59 pm

You're certainly right there--I'm sure we've all ignored really great advice. Experience is the best teacher, even though its sometimes that kind of teacher that hit you with a ruler (did teachers ever really do that?)

kellysouthpaw

Re: I need some womanly advice...

Postby kellysouthpaw » Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:08 pm

Ratashak wrote:You're certainly right there--I'm sure we've all ignored really great advice. Experience is the best teacher, even though its sometimes that kind of teacher that hit you with a ruler (did teachers ever really do that?)


Yes - my Uncle had it done to him (though, he went to school in the late 60's and he went to an OLD SCHOOL Catholic school) so I know that it has been done. Though I think it's been illegal to do in public school for a LONG time.


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