It's interesting to read about the connection between family name and identity:)
I too have a family name altered by the war. My great grandfather was an Italian missionary who met my Norwegian great grandmother in China sometime around 1900. They married and had two sons. My great grandmother did not give up her maiden name, but added her husband's with a hyphen. She must have been a very modern woman:) Both their sons got the hyphenated name. (BjÃ¸rgum-Argento) The whole family moved to Norway, where at the start of WW2 my grandfather decided to let go of the Italian part of the name, because of the Italian involvement on German side. My great uncle kept his. He was a stubborn man.
As I grew older and learned about the family history I wanted to take back the Italian name, but Norwegian law prevented me because my dad had never had the name. I was disappointed because I knew that my great uncle, who was like a grandfather to me (my real grandfather having died when I was very little), had no kids and the name would disappear when he died.
I took my husband's name when we married. I was 22 and expecting our first baby, and all I though about was how I wanted us all to have the same surname. I still miss my maiden name, and had I married today I am pretty sure I would have kept it. We originally had a deal that if I was able to recover the Italian family name, we would all take that, but when they changed the law and I was allowed to change my name back he chickened out
His family felt really strongly about it because at the time he was the only son with a male heir carrying the name and they were worried that their name would die out. I can relate! But I thought it was weak of him to take their side when I had been willing to give up my own name to begin with... Since then his brother has had a son, so maybe I could ask him again. On the other hand our children are getting older and they may feel strange about suddenly going by another name.
I would still want to, but even if I don't I take comfort in the fact that my youngest brother changed his name back and passed it on to his little girl, so the name lives on