I know it's old, but I figure I'd post the edited version...
Petrov, Yelyena, and Me
Petrov, Yelyena, and me. Lost, but happy, at seaâ€¨
Petrov and Yelyena said to me
"Shouldn't we have something to eat?"
I say "There are plenty of fish in the sea"â€¨
But all they can see is me.
They say, "Any last requests?" Biding my time, I said "Yes.â€¨
I want to party, just we three. Lost, but happy at sea."
So we drank all night from the kegâ€¨
I passed out, then awoke with one legâ€¨
I said, "Petrov, have you seen my leg?"
He said "No" and he went back to bed.â€¨
But he looked suspiciously well fed.
Three days later they were hungry againâ€¨
They said, "Any last requests, my friend, again?"â€¨
So I said, "Do you know any Rolling Stones?â€¨
It was a hilarious moment in a very bleak bleak time of my life."
So we danced all night to the Rolling Stones,â€¨
When I awoke they were chewing on bones.â€¨
Yelyena was sopping blood from a cup,â€¨
That's when I knew that something was up.
"Hey Petrov? What is that you're eating?"â€¨
"How come it looks so much like my arm
which has been hacked off at the elbow last night?"â€¨
"Oh, it's an arm fish."
Later that night, while they were asleep,â€¨
I swallowed some arsenic to poison my meatâ€¨
I was very ill, but revenge is so sweet,â€¨
Unlike the last meal my comrades would eat.
When I awoke, they were already deadâ€¨
All that was left of me was my head...â€¨
No, not dead, just a head.â€¨
Lost, but so lonely...â€¨At sea.