What the Folk!

Yes its that time of the week again. The day after Sunday. And Monday and Tuesday. Where I once again am inspired to write something vaguely interesting about stuff that may or may not be Conchords related.

What I said last year (has it been that long) still applies. Only we are down to 2 parts left for me to torment you with 'O thanks Yoko' I hear you say.

Hoping people reading this have managed to hear the show somehow and therefore have a clue about what I am going on about. If not then

So what do we know this week that we didn't last... Conchords BBC Radio show info

Episode details - 5: The Conchords are stretched to breaking point by Bret's girlfriend Suzanne. Is she really a Yoko Ono figure and.... can Neil Finn save the day?

Cast list

Bret McKenzie - himself
Jemaine Clement - himself
Brian Nesbitt - Rhys Darby
Emma Kennedy - Suzanne
Rob Brydon - Narrator
Neil Finn - himself

Rob Brydon. Narrator. His best bit this week for me included

"The white Bob Marley of Wellington" - Said this week about Neil Finn

"Jemaines face turns to thunder, his eyebrows to some sort of angry lightning"

And onto the show

Songs featured in part 5 - Robots (aka Humans Are Dead)
If You're Into It



After their sucess with Whambi in part 4, the guys hire out a studio to record some songs.

Brian has the bridge tour all mapped out. Tonight its Putney Bridge. See map below.



And setting the scene for you, this is how it could have/should have/would have looked on a summer evening during the tour....



And if like Brian, you are moved by the bridge, you can take the virtual 360 tour without leaving your seat. See what Brian saw, sigh at what Brian sighed at... 360 tour of Putney Bridge
This is what the guys missed out on when skipping Brian's Bridge Tour


Bits I love from the show

Jemaine popping up on Bret's dates. Just when you think Bret and Suzanne are alone, Jemaine pipes up with a class line.

The performance of If You're Into It

Jemaine's visible upset at the 'Yoko' threat. And his heartfelt sigh.

The performance of the song I'm Not Crying. A song the band has not played since 1998 at the Taranaki Tavern Hootenanny and chilli cookoff. For personal reasons.

The fight in the studio. The whole setting of it, hot pies and hot tempers. Then the voiceover saying "Bret throws his headphones aside and grasps a savoury missile. Jemaine defends himself with a savoury slice" Sound effects ensue and colourful narrative follows.

The entire firing scene. No one knowing who was firing who, or who had been fired. Or who could be.

Lines/quotes from the show

Jemaine - "Yeah man, thats frozen cool"

Jemaine - "The bridge tours a possibility. And also I got a book out from the library on how Yoko Ono split the Beatles up. Might read some of that" *heavy sigh*

Brian (upon discovering Jemaine has been on Bret's dates) "You'd be a third wheel!"
Jemaine - (in his defence) "Yeah well, a third wheel is bad on a bike, but on a car its very nessecary"

Jemaine and his use of the "Hmmm"

Neil (answering phone) - "Hello"
Brian (to Neil on phone) "Hey Neil. Brian here!"
Neil - *Audible sigh of resignation* "Ok, hi Brian"
Brian - "You know Jemaine and Bret, the guys?"
Neil - "Getting to know them"

Bret - "Ah, Jemaines just, ah umm, being a dick"
Jemaine - "Pardon? What did you just call me?"

Talking about the band breakup -
Bret - "Yeah it feels strange the band having broken up. Luckily for me I've got Suzanne. Uhhh... Jemaines got Brian"
Jemaine - "I'm not too upset about the band *voice cracks* breaking up. Itsa, it was bound to happen"

And I am done. Once more. The floor is all yours. All I ask is swooning be left elsewhere. By all means have fun, but, yeah, well, I didn't do all this with swooning in mind

Thanks Sherry for your summary.

I thought this was a really good, solid episode that moved along at a nice clip. A few things I liked:

* Brian’s sincere yet clueless mixing approach with “Robots.” “What the hell??” Heh. I Brian.
* The amusing detail of the Muzak playing in the background of Suzanne and Bret (and Jemaine)’s date – adding to the cheese factor.
* Jemaine’s neediness, especially his insistence on staying over at Suzanne’s place.
* “Read the boringest book” in the original “If You’re Into It” and the Fisher-Price xylophone (or whatever it was) on the second version.
* “I’m Not Crying” was terrific, especially “you can’t break my heart, it’s liquid, it melted when I met you.” My, that Jemaine sure has quite the vocal range doesn’t he? Do you think he could break glass with his voice?
* “If I make you an aromatherapie…” – an inspired line from the charming Emma Kennedy’s pie-centric Suzanne.
* “All over the world, there’s about, maybe fifteen people that are really going to miss us.” True, that. Great line from Bret.

The Pie People!

Favey lines:

Brian: I hope you're not too confused. (after the concept of "backing track" is explained to him)

Bret: What do you mean? (at Suzanne telling him she finds him quite exotic)

Jemaine: Are we going to watch a DVD? 'Cause that's why... why I'm here.

All versions of If You're Into It.

Bret: Lift the heaviest rock; Eat the biggest meal; Solve the hardest puzzle; Walk on the hottest substance

Jemaine: That's a lot of examples of things you'd do.

Suzanne: I'll be the judge of whether it's good or not.

Bret: (sung) "... or else I'd get embarrased." (so sweet)

Jemaine: We'll squeeze you in! (about the paddle boat - the high pitched squeal is adorable)

The heart-twisting lament I'm Not Crying (I'm not crying, I'm not crying, I'm not crying )

Neil Finn: God, you're a... you're a hard worker.

Bret: No! I'm in the band! You're fired Brian!! (the indignation in his voice - great)

Brian: You're long hair! It's crazy!

Suzanne: Aromatherapie. (great)

Great episode - very quote worthy. I love the overload of bridge information in the narration.

This gave me the giggles.


Brian: When did you meet a girl?

Rob Brydon: Bret’s face turns red

Bret: At the pie shop

Rob Brydon: For a moment the, the Conchords’ co-guitarist looks as sheepish as the hills of his native New Zealand.

Welcome xemena!

I think that's quite possibly my favorite line from the whole series.

I loved how J just keeps popping up every time you think Bret and Suzanne are alone. I loved both songs!!!!

While recording Robots:
J: What’s a watch going to do?
B: Explode and blow your hand off
J: Very unlikely, but it might do something like make you late for something
B: It might change the time on you
J: Yeah or give you hypnotic messages

Boy Band Sleepover…………oh my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

….

J: (after Bret’s song): That’s a lot of examples of things you’d do. That’s a bit generic Bret. You should try to incorporate things you know about her, things she likes.
B: she likes pies

…..

Then the song……….this had me in tears (In the buff, being rude, doin stuff, with the food)!!!!!!!! And the absolute best part of this whole show……..

B (singing): If you want me to, I’ll take off all my clothes for you
I’ll take off all my clothes for you, if that’s what you’re into
….

B: At her house, she said while I was in the bathroom, you were like trying to pull some moves on her
J: Ok, guilty. But, you hadn’t done anything all night

…..

J: You can’t break my heart, it’s liquid. It melted when I met you……

(the whole song, really! Onions, rain – all of it!!)
…..

The whole 3rd wheel conversation – too funny!!

…..

The whole recording studio part when Suzanne shows up and Jemaine is “being a dick”

B: No, I’m in the band!! You’re fired Brian!!!!!!!

Aromatherapie……..*hehehehe*

…..

B: All over the world, there’s about, maybe 15 people who are really going to miss us

on edit: I realized last night I needed to clarify which 2 songs. If You're into it (both versions!!) and I'm not Crying......

Does anybody want part 6? If so, I shall thump it out over the next day or two. Let me know

Yes. I mean affirmative

I will also have to say "affirmative". Just luckily all the humans aren't dead or there would be no-one to upload it, then again there would be no more me to listen to it ......and all.

I vote yes. Even though I didn't chime in on Part 5...
But, it would round things up nicely...right?